Whose the Baddest MordSith?
by NeutralHealer
Summary: What happens when Mord-Sith get drunk? Which Mord-Sith would be the worst at holding her liquor? A short Crack!Fic. Contains Femslash.


"HEY BITCH! SHOW ME YOUR TITS!" came a loud shout from a balcony, followed by a cat call and a low whistle.

The two women in low cut dresses looked up and blanched, going completely white. They saw that red leather and ran.

"Fuck, why doessat keep happening?" asked a woman with her hair pulled back in a long dark braid. She leaned over farther to see an unsuspecting man passing by on the street below. "HAAAAYYY! WHAT'S THE SIZE OF THAT SWORD IN YOUR PANTS? I'LL BE HAPPY TO SHEATHE THAT SWORD FOR YOU SOL-JA! I know's essactly where to put it!"

The brunette bent over to smack her own ass but instead ran into the ledge of the balcony. Getting bored with cat calling off the side, she took another swig of her drink and stumbled forward to sit next to another woman clad in red leather.

"Yes dear. I'm sure you know where to put a penis." The blonde she sat next to rolled her eyes, "Triana, I'm not sure if we should give you any more spirits. It seems you might be int-"

"P'SHAAAWW! I can hold mah liquor QUITE WELL thenkyo verry much!"

Cara held her forehead in her palm and took a deep breath. She looked down at the dozens of empty liquor bottles littering the balcony. Out of all of them, Cara drank the most, but she seemed to be the most level headed one, only having a slight buzz.

Another blonde laughed so high pitched that any one walking in would have been shocked and traumatized at seeing a Mord-Sith be so joyous. She leaned into a brunette whose hair was pulled back in a thick curly braid cascading down her back.

"Baggs woman! That was _hilarious!_ Say it - say it again! Berdine! Say it again!" the blonde was snortling through drunken fits of laughter, barely able to talk.

A hand moved between the blondes legs. "Oh I can do more then just say it again Rikka."

The two dropped the bottles they were holding, alcoholic beverage spilling everywhere and quickly tangled into each other. They wrestled each other to the ground, Berdine on top.

One Mord-Sith in red leather strutted across the balcony with a drink her hands. Taking her seat next to Cara, she whispered in her ear, "I have an idea."

The blonde turned her head to look at the Mord-Sith who was now sitting beside her. She rose an eyebrow over one eye as she took another swig of her drink. "Yes Dahlia?"

"Let's play 'Whose the baddest Mord-Sith'," said Dahlia in a sultry tone. Since her face was so close to Cara's, as if begging for a kiss, Cara could smell that the alcohol was thick on her breath.

"We can do that," she said before pulling Dahlia into a kiss.

"What? 'Whose the Baddest Mord-Sith?' OH I LOVE THAT FUCKING GAME!" Denna wrenched herself from Raina, whom she had been frenching furiously. "WHOSE UP BITCHES?"

Raina had a dissapointed look on her face but after realizing that they were going to play the all time favorite of traditions for Mord-Sith, quickly whipped her agiel into her fist and bounced happily in her seat. "Count me in!"

Triana stood triumphantly and ripped off her top within a matter of moments. "TOPS OFF LADIES! SHOW ME YOUR TITS!"

Raina leaned over to whisper to Berdine, who now sat at full attention with Rikka in her lap, "I think she's a little bit... drunk."

Berdine shook her head. "A Mord-Sith? Drunk? Nahh. All Mord-Sith can hold their liquo-"

She was cut off by a crash and clang of empty bottles. Everyone looked toward Triana, who had happened to stumble. All any one saw now was two legs sticking strait up in the air after tumbling over a chair. Obviously Triana was the loud drunk that everyone thought was the party spoiler.

Berdine shooke her head, but this time in regret. "Nevermind..."

All of the Mord-Sith started taking off their tops joyously and impatiently. Denna was the ring leader and explained the rules again. The rules always seemed to be changing - but Denna was the one that always made them up. The premise of the game was always the same, however the reward at the end always changed.

Her voice rang like the bells of Devotion. Strong, hard, and full of purpose. "Okay, so everyone has their tops off right?" She looked around at the six other topless women. It always happened to be when Mord-Sith women were intoxicated for this game to happen. They never did it sober. Possibly because they liked waking up with different women, rolling over and finding a different face in the morning - wishing they could remember the previous night. "Excellent. Okay, rules of this game?" She took one hard look at Dahlia's breasts. "Stab each other on the nipple with your agiel. First one to moan loses, and the winner gets to face the next winner from a different pair. Got it?"

The haunting melody of agiels rung through the air, hitting nipples before Denna even had a chance to get a response. The blonde in charge rolled her eyes and stabbed Dahlia in the breast. Just the way she did it made Dahlia fall to her knees and moan like someone was fucking her from behind. She didn't even have a chance to stab Denna with her agiel.

"Oh Dahlia, you were always so easy. I guess I win!" chimed Denna.

Under normal circumstances it would have been absolutely terrifying to see that blonde behave like this - bouncing up and down with a smile in her eye. Because normally that would have meant death to any one that stepped in her path. Obviously Denna was the bubbly drunk. Thanks to the intoxication and the dulling of the alcohol, it was completely normal as she moved to her next victim.

Triana passed out cold after moaning so hard when that agiel touched her nipple.

"I guess I win again!" Denna bounced happily, turning around to see who the next winners were, eager to stab with her agiel.

Turning around, her eyes feasted on the only two left standing. The other Mord-Sith were wrapped up in each others arms kissing furiously, not able to hold back the eroticism the agiel pokes elicited in them.

Cara and Berdine stabbed each other in the nipple at the same time. They both tightened their faces, pain evident on their face. Their jaws clenched, they bared their teeth at each other. Denna could tell both of them were going to explode from a moan at any moment. Their bodies went rigid, locking their knees, tightening their muscles, until finally -

"Oh dear spirits!," moaned Berdine, eyes going crossed falling to her knees.

"YES! TAKE THAT!" yelled Cara as she threw her hands up in the air and high kicked. Cara was the overenthusiastic drunk - gung ho about being serious about everything she did.

Denna walked right up to Cara and pressed herself against her body. "Oh I wouldn't celebrate just _yet_."

"Oh Mistress Denna..." Cara drifted off. She had to suppress a moan starting deep within her pit at just _seeing_ a topless Denna.

Cara stabbed Denna in her nipple violently. Denna sucked in her bottom lip and bit hard, throwing her head back. There was a sparkle in her eyes as she slowly lowered her gaze to the blonde. A smile of dark intention blossomed on her face as deadly as any poisonous ink blot spreading across parchment. She lifted her agiel casually in her hand to press it gingerly to Cara's nipple.

Knee's buckled, and Cara choked on her breath. The touch from the agiel was so mind blowingly painful and so light compared to the previous jabs it sent shudders racking up and down her body. Her eyes went wide, but she clenched her jaw, lips pressing tight together.

When their eyes finally met - they both suppressed a moan that wanted to explode from their throats. Breathing started getting heavier, breathing the air in and out of their nose as if the air itself were punishment. Heavy panting then ensued, as their gaze threatened to bring each other to an orgasm. The look in each other's eyes was enough to make them both want to moan - but they both held it back. Their resolve was slowly being peeled away as that elongated presence of tingling earth shattering pain racked through their bodies, centered at that highly sensitive area - the nipple. They seemed to gravitate toward each other, falling into each others arms. Soon belt buckles went flying and pants went down.

Raina folded her arms, turned on by the display of the small power struggle unfolding before her eyes. She leaned into Rikka, "I think I heard a grunt - does that count?"

Rikka shook her mane of blonde hair, her braid swaying gently behind her head. "No. A moan."

At this point Triana managed to snap herself out of her unconscious state. She stumbled to her knees, grabbing onto that chair she fell onto. "Who won?"

Her eyes fell on the two blonde Mord-Sith still pressing their agiels into each other's nipples. Hands were moving furiously under red leather pants. Both were open mouthed panting like dogs, but none elicited a moan yet.

Doors flew open, making everyone jump.

"Dammit! I thought someone locked that!" said a topless Dahlia on the ground, tangled in the arms of Berdine.

A gasp resounded through the five women that looked up. Cara and Denna still seemed to be preoccupied at the moment. However, they both straitened up as they heard that voice with that dark vibrato.

"A servant had informed me he heard some exclamations about breasts and rough sexual slander."

Triana practically bolt for Darken Rahl in his red robes, falling at his feet. She grabbed his robes and pleaded. "THAT WAS ME! THAT WAS ME LORD RAHL! PLEASE PUNISH ME! Dear spirits I deserve to be chained up! Give me the torture!kiss Lord Rahl!"

He looked down, dark hair falling in front of his face. He gave Triana the most deadliest of glares, as if it was strictly forbidden to touch his red robes. "So... I see you ladies got into the spirits again?"

Triana - determined to make an ass out of herself - scoffed loudly and responded before any of the other Mord-Sith ran up behind her to clamp her mouth shut. "Pfffftttt, of coursn't Lordey Rahl. We juss got -"

"Silence."

She clamped her mouth and sat back on her knees. Darken Rahl let his gaze wander over the seven topless Mord-Sith. His glare fell on the two blondes still working furiously to get each other to moan.

"Cara...Denna..." He said with a smirk.

Biting their bottom lips, they withdrew from each other to stand at attention in front of Darken Rahl.

"Yes Lord Rahl," they both said together.

They were both panting hard, blush settling on their cheeks. Both were so incredibly close to orgasming.

He sighed deeply and put his hands behind his back. "Who won?"

Cara and Denna looked at each other before looking back at Darken Rahl. They both raised one of their eyebrows as their shoulder's relaxed.

"So far it's a tie between us two, Lord Rahl," answered Denna.

He smiled as he walked away from the two, reaching inside of his robes. Calmly walking toward the other Mord-Sith, he pulled out his agiel. "Would it be too much if we started over and I joined?"

Soon the Lord Rahl stood topless as his robes flew into Triana, knocking her over. She squealed at seeing his abs and ran up to him, "ME FIRST!"


End file.
